So I had an impulsive idea to live-blog my journey going from Borders to Borders trying to collect all 9 volumes (I already had the first one) of the Sandman graphic novels that I needed to complete my collection. The idea was I was going to use the same Borders rewards coupon to get each one. I used tumblr’s audio post feature, where you can simply call in, talk for 2 minutes, and it posts automatically. I had to put my faith in the technology that it was working.
Well, it DIDN’T work. Maybe tumblr has a limit for audio posts. But if they did, it would’ve been nice if I got some warning on the phone. That way I knew to stop calling, and that I was going to get my heart broken.
But here is what you missed:
Me INSIDE THE STORE, whispering, declaring psychological warfare on the cashier inside. I decided to purchase volume 3 (the cheapest in the series) at full price. This was to lull him into a false sense of security. Seeing that I didn’t try to repeat my coupon this once, he’ll feel no need to warn the other employees about my tricky wheeling and dealing. I actually called tumblr and had this transaction going out over the air. It would’ve been very exciting in the moment.
The revelation that this cashier was actually getting off work at that moment, so it didn’t do me any good. In fact, it sort of hurt me, because his replacement came on as I was in the middle of the transaction, meaning she’d seen my face. I curse myself for this tactical error, but I decide to move on to another Borders in downtown Portland.
I park in a parking garage where I witness the aftermath of a woman’s fall down the stairs. As I am discussing this, a guy with a clipboard starts trying to bug me, despite me being on the phone. I scold him so hard that he dies.
I discover Borders in downtown Portland closes early. I confront the staff as they are locking the doors.
I return to my car, miffed that I will have to pay for parking for nothing.
I call tumblr, and broadcast the transaction between me and the parking attendant. I sweet-talk my way out of having to pay.
If tumblr is holding these messages hostage for some reason to spite me, I would like to implore their sense of what’s right and just to please release these messages. This battle with Borders continues tomorrow and it looks like I’m going to need to figure out an alternate method of live-blogging. Tweets are too tedious. I’d prefer my voice to be involved. And believe you me brother, so WOULD YOU. If anybody knows of an alternate to the tumblrs voice post please speak no or forever hold your peace.
Goodnight.
I’m not actually going to bed right now. It’s 9:21 PM.
